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Today was suppose to be the first day of summer but instead it was a wash out day with heavy rain.
Here a little something to brighten up your day and to put a smile on your face.
Now the big question is – would you eat them?
Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category
The Daily Mail Oops..
Posted by Anna on February 19th, 2010
Can anyone spot the mistake on the main page of the DailyMail Website? Oops!
Santa Letter
Posted by Anna on December 25th, 2009
Dear Santa,
Listen, you troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won’t wanna be around to smell it).
So, here’s my holiday wish list, Santa:
- A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a frumpy, oversized sweatshirt. I’m sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt?
- Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It looks like cellulite!
- A REAL man…maybe GI Joe. Hell, I’d take Tickle-Me Elmo over that wimped-out excuse for a boyfriend Ken. And what’s with that earring anyway? If I’m gonna have to suffer with him, at least make him (and me) anatomically correct.
- Arms that actually bend so I can push the aforementioned Ken-wimp away once he is anatomically correct.
- Breast reduction surgery. I don’t care whose arm you have to twist, just get it done.
- A jog bra. To wear until I get the surgery.
- A new career. Pet doctor and school teacher just don’t cut it. How about a systems analyst? Or better yet, an advertising account exec!
- A new, more 90s persona. Maybe “PMS Barbie”, complete with a miniature container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and a bag of chips; “Animal Rights Barbie”, with my very own pain gun, outfitted with a fake fur coat andhandcuffs; or “Stop Smoking Barbie”, sporting a removable Nicotrol patch and equipped with several packs of gum.
- No more McDonald’s endorsements. The grease is wrecking my vinyl.
- Mattel stock options. It’s been 37 years — I think I deserve it.
OK, Santa, that’s it. Considering my valuable contribution to society, I don’t think these requests are out of line. If you disagree, then you can find yourself a new bimbo doll for next Christmas. It’s that simple.
Yours truly,
Barbie
My santa list #1
Posted by Anna on December 17th, 2009
Dear Santa.
I been a good girl this year.
This year i have studied and worked really hard. I got myself into university this year and i been really stressed about my job this year – what with the event of what happen the end of last year.
I think i deserve a little little treat this year – nothing major – just something small.
Philosophy The Classic CookBook
Santa, look at all the pretty colours, gingerbread, red velvet cake and double rich hot choco to name a few.
Please put this under my fibre optic christmas tree and i shall reward you with mulled wine and mince pie, you can’t get much better than that.
Thank you for reading this and i look forward to christmas day.
Best Wishes
Anna xxx
P.S: If your reading this today then could you please give mother nature a call and delayed the snow for me as i’m going out tonight and i need to be able to use public transport. Thank you xx
Posted in Beauty & Health, General, Humour 
Tags: beauty, christmas, humor, santa, tounge in cheek 
No Comments »An amusing tale…
Posted by Anna on August 18th, 2009
Here a little humour tale that popped up recently in my e-mail. I aplogize for the caps but i couldn’t be bother to re-write it.
CAKE OR BED
A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A
FOOTBALL MATCH WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS,
‘HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?
IT’S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW.’
HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY,
‘FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ‘POWERGEN’ WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON’T THINK SO!’
‘FINE!’
THEN THE WIFE ASKS,
‘WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON’T CLOSE RIGHT’
TO WHICH HE REPLIED,
‘FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ‘FRIDGIDAIRE’
WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON’T THINK SO!’
‘FINE!’ SHE SAYS
‘THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS
TO THE FRONT DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK’
‘I’M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON’T
WANT TO FIX STEPS’, HE SAYS, ‘DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ‘TAYLOR WOODROW’ WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD?
I DON’T THINK SO! I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS, I’M GOING TO THE PUB!!!!’
SO HE GOES TO THE PUB AND DRINKS FOR A
COUPLE OF HOURS……………..
HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW
HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES
TO GO HOME
AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES
THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED.
AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE , HE SEES THE
HALL LIGHT IS WORKING
AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES
THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.
HONEY, HE ASKS, ‘HOW’D ALL THIS GET FIXED?’
SHE SAID, ‘WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT
OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM.
HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM OR BAKE A CAKE.’
HE SAID,
‘SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?’
SHE REPLIED, ‘HELLOOOOO.., DO YOU SEE ‘MR KIPLING’ WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON’T THINK SO!’
